


Beyond Bonded

by Jen425



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, Tokusatsu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Grief, Hopeful Ending, Houjou Emu Needs A Hug, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: Others lose half of their soul when their other half dies. Emu loses half of of himself.He copes… less well than he thought he could.
Relationships: Houjou Emu/Parad
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	Beyond Bonded

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Writing_in_SIN](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/gifts).



> I never expected to be writing ParaEmu, but here we are! I blame Writing_in_SIN over here, but this is actually inspired from a throwaway line I read in a different soulmate AU.
> 
> This was supposed to be less messy and also end differently, but here we are!
> 
> I hope you like it!

The hardest part is living in a world without color, he thinks, because it’s an inescapable reality, and, even worse, a fact now gone.

Not that the entire past year hasn’t been a slow deconstruction of his entire life as he’d known it, but that’s not relevant. Never mind that, once upon a time, his soulmate had been his best friend who he had though a mere figment of his imagination, or else a part of him.

How does he ever move on from a soulmate who not only completed him but was quite literally his other half, a physical of of him since…

Since…

He’d been six years old when he’d first met Parado, reflected in his own eyes as they played together for the very first time. Parado’s technical game, reflected in their shared eyes as they looked at each other that was also themselves and never thought that there was a divide.

That that was the reason why, when Emu said something a bright voice responded in their bond. That when the other half of Emu said something, a soft voice responded in the same way.

A part of them had wanted to ignore it. A part of them had thought they were crazy.

But Emu wanted a friend and his other half wanted to be his friend.

They were happy.

(Until he was split and suddenly the worst kind of silent, for of course neither Dan would enjoy their plans being halted for something like soulmates,would find a way to at least weaken their connections.

There was a reason M could split from Emu while Parado watched.)

They were happy until they’d been separated. Dan Kuroto’s machinations were passed off to his other half as simply the nature of Bugsters, as if any species capable of love wouldn’t have a working soulmate bond.

(With so many nonhuman sentient species making their presence known, in recent decades, with so many forms of soulmate bonds, Emu has a theory that their stability as Bugster and host may have been in part the Bugster's form of soulmates. Not that he could prove it.

The only good Bugsters are gone now, after all.)

And then, of course, they’d fought. Emu had… had killed Parado, to teach him a lesson,  _ praying _ that he succeeded, that it was temporary.

(He’d felt an echo of Parado’s fear, am emotions don’t traditionally travel through a Soul Bond and yet… well, Parado isn’t human. Non-Humans are known for differing soulmate forms, after all.)

A mirror. A reflection. All it took to confirm his survival. Eyes meeting.

They had been truly together for… for such a short time, but it had been  _ perfect _ .

And then Parado died.

The worst part: after the final battle. Emu had gone to his reflection, and… nothing.

No color.

(He remembers some sob choking out of his throat, he thinks. He wasn’t… entire lucid for several days, after.)

  
  
  


The even worse part: he works at a hospital. The screams of soulmates as their colors fade isn’t necessarily uncommon.

  
  
  


The problem is that, as the woman in question screams and sobs, she says… “it’s my fault. She was protecting me.”

_ Emu… _

Protecting… him?

Something glitches, almost like Game Disease, and Emu trips half way across the room as it happens. What…

What was that?

  
  
  


(He doesn’t know, it’s so rarely documented. A remainder of a soulmate pair: they didn’t react at the moment of death.

The reaction spreads.)

  
  
  


He goes home that night and he dreams of dying. Atom by atom, pixel by pixel. He’d almost lived it, if Parado hadn’t saved him. He’d half felt it as red and blue pixels turned greyscale before his eyes. He thinks—

_ Kiriya didn’t deserve this Poppy didn’t deserve this none of the victims deserved this  _ **_Parado you didn’t deserve this!_ **

He thinks that he needs to find words to speak to the loved ones of the victims, but he has none even for himself.

  
  
  


Like the universe is cursing him, the wave from the previous day continues for the next week. “My fault.” “I never told them.” “For me.” “They’re gone.” “I’m sorry.”

Emu… survives it because he has to.

(Over two weeks off because he simply  _ couldn’t function, _ after the battle with Chronos, after… Parado’s sacrifice. He can’t stay broken, no matter how much it hurts to breath.)

He keeps going.

It’s three months after the final battle that thing’s break him down again.

A small boy. One two years older. Friends and soulmates both.

“He saved my life.”

The feeling from before returns in force, and Emu runs.

_ He saved my life. _

He’s standing in the middle of the hallway when he falls to the ground and the pain overwhelms him. He lets out half a cry, and—

“Emu!”

Hands clad in what should be fingerless pink gloves if they weren’t semi-transparent and grayscale grab his shaking shoulders. Emu’s still shaking and refuses to look up.

“What happened?” The familiar voice asks. “Are you okay? How am I?”

Emu looks up, takes five seconds to think about it… and wraps the outline with a familiar voice in a hug.

He think—

_ “Don’t leave me.” _

Suddenly, nothing is there.

(They don’t lock eyes. Color remains… gone.)

  
  
  


(He assumes it’s a hallucination, but it gives him the strength to hold the press conference.

He assumed it’s his imagination as Parado whispers words of encouragement, too.)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @flaim-ita or, if you most want Toku and maybe some original edits, @dancingqueen-mai


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